My evening was suppose to be uneventful. After my trust post, I decided to have a long discussion with meine frau. We went driving and talked and talked. Then she yelled and I stopped discussing. I needed to stop at Lowe’s and pick up caulk. So once we got back I took off cause she was still being a piss. I bought caulk and my buddy from work finally called me back…. I sat in the parking lot and talked to him for a few minutes. He offered me a place to hang out for awhile but I wasn’t really into sitting in a house at the moment. So, off to the petrol dispensing facility. I walked in to buy 10 worth of gas. There was this chick behind the counter, she looked to be in her early to mid 40’s. She was hot but not hot as in a natural hotness that emanates from certain people. More like a slutty, bar whore hotness. Anyways.. I informed her I wanted 10 on 13 she asked if I needed anything else, she smirked, I said no. She replied with “are you sure?” I said no I wasn’t sure. I think that was some form of her attempting to flirt with me, at least that what the aliens said to me, but that is when I realized I wanted alcohol. So I walked around looking and couldn’t figure out what I wanted. I waited patiently for either the aliens, voices in my head or some random stranger to tell me what I wanted to ingest into my system. The viking mobile was getting a form of alcohol, it would be unfair if I wasn’t to partake in the same pleasures. On that note: my sincerest apologies to the viking mobile for being hard on it yesterday. Finally. The skies opened and the voices informed me it was to be mike’s hard lemonade. yes, boring, but tasty. Off we went. South, south further south. Then it got dark. The sun had already set a good deal earlier than the beginning of this story. The darkness I refer to is the general vicinity. There were no street lights, no house lights, no town lights. I knew I had entered the ever so reverend Holmes county. Holmes county is a place in Ohio where the majority of people who reside there are Amish. Next there are Mennonites then followed up by aliens. We will leave the word aliens up for interpretation. I now realized that I was: A.) lost, I love being lost. It is difficult for me to get lost so when I do get lost I find it to be exciting. AND B.) buzzed. I had finished the hard lemonade I had bought 30-40 minutes prior. I now wanted to find a bar. I didn’t really care where I was or when/how I was going to return home. Buzzed was not the state of choice, drunken monkey was. So I continued to drive and drive and drive. FUCKING AMISH DO NOT BELIEVE IN BARS. Bitches!! I did see two adolescent Amish boys walking down one or the roads I was on and almost stopped and asked them where one could locate a local watering hole. I figured they would just mug me and take my Mitsubishi from me. As I continued driving around in circles it appeared to me that the roads began to have names again. Alas, I had returned to Wayne county. Although I was still unsure as to where in Wayne county I was. Then I ended up at an intersection that I knew the road but didnt know which direction I was suppose to travel on. I waited. I waited. I waited. Asked my handy dandy rock traveling companion and it said turn left. I did. That fucking rock tricked me. Note to self: Do not let the rock give you directions when driving. I ended up driving through a place I wasn’t expecting to drive through and not only that I saw someone I wasn’t suppose to see. Fucking rock! Anyways….Still looking for a bar. There was a bar there but I couldn’t go there. I finally gave up on this idea. Although I did come to the conclusion one of my new missions in life is to populate Holmes county Ohio with alcohol dispensing facilities so that the Amish may have the privilege to travel to the local watering hole, become intoxicated and we can race through the darkened back roads in their neighborhoods. I eventually saw another gas station. Went in, could not find a beer I wanted so this time it was Jack Daniels Down Home Punch. I knew I wasn’t too far from home, and killed 5/6 of those before I pulled into the driveway. There sat that female humanoid that I discussed with earlier in the evening. hmm. I sat on the couch. She came in the room. We talked casually for about 4 minutes. She lit a joint, I didn’t want to experience her in her combative, aggravated state that she now enters when she is high. I took a shower and went to my bed that had been transformed into a swaying hammock. Ahh. Sweet sleep, finally.

ALAS NO, no sleep for you fucker. I know I retired somewhere around the witching hour. 2:45 is the time the unknown roused me. I hate this. I want to sleep. I was up till 4:00. Wandering the house nekkid, shivering like a baby chicken, just quieter. I finally got bored pacing back and forth and peering out my windows. I returned to the bed that was no longer a hammock but a lumpy body filled bed. It is now (:!@ and I have been up since 6:45. Blah. I know there are 100+ things I can/should do today. I highly doubt productivity is on my agenda for the day.

I suppose I will sit and watch Gumby with the mumkin.

I laid awake last night and contemplated trust and what it means. Not only to me, but as far as it goes in everyone’s life. I, for one, make it a point to make almost everyone not trust me. The only reason that I can think of for doing this is that I know that the people who trust me 100% are truly my friends. I guess one could look at it like a right of passage. OR maybe I am way off on my viewpoint on the matter. Which doesn’t matter. I have very few people that I consider to be my friend, I have even less that I put trust in. Trust for me is the willingness to lock and load my sks, hand it to another person, have it pointed at my head. Knowing the whole time that the trigger could be pulled and that would be it. Trust for me is full discloser, no matter what the consequences are. Those things are trust. I was always under the assumption that the trust I bestowed was reciprocated. After the last 24-48 hours however, I am beginning to understand that I not only do not need that trust to be reciprocated, I feel that I am better off not expecting it. If one does not expect something then one cannot be saddened when it doesn’t present itself.

I am sure it could be argued that there has to be some level of trust in order to be human. I couldn’t agree more with an argument like that. On the other side of the coin, I trust myself. That is the only creature I need to trust. I know that the last soul that wandered this planet that fully trusted me, I killed. That was my dog. There was unconditional love and trust there. Without him I know that I am the only one that fully trusts me. I would yell, scream, stomp at that dog and he would sit there. Knowing full well I just might take out my frustrations on him. It didn’t matter. He knew. He trusted.

Whether it is getting to the final knot and then freaking out because you know you cannot get out on your own accord or as simple as not answering the phone, those are issues of trust. Those are issues from people that I knew “trusted” me. I think I have been exceptionally naive in who I believe trusts me.

Let us add another brick in the wall.

Work for me on Saturdays is less than eventful. And since there was not an adequate amount of sleep bestowed upon me, I have found myself sleeping and daydreaming today. After my morning nap and the second mountain dew, I figured it was time to eat. So I meandered out to my vehicle and retrieved a bag of Gummie Bears that I bought in this wonderful little town the night prior. I love visiting small towns, the people there are blissfully happy, well, until you cannot follow simple directions and you get lost. Then they can be down right pissy. Anyways, Gummie bears, So I went to my car and located the bag in question. Then I remembered I stole the rest of my gramma’s vicodin yesterday and ate them. But I also took some Ativan since she has a plethora and I only have about 10 left. So I took the bag of Ativan out and ate a few. Seriously, I dont really do anything so why not? So here I am in ativan land singing squeezebox by the who and building a Gummie bear fighting ring. I am hoping I can set up some website to generate cash with the illegal fighting of gummie bears but I am unsure as to how I would go about collecting funds. I am sure paypal would frown upon gambling of sugary rubber creatures. But you never know till you try. I think we could webcam it from thailand, re-route the company from the Bahamas and live comfortably in our camper with a extra big awning attached to it.

Well, my supervisor just walked out so I think I will go back to napping.

Welcome to my blog. A fellow employee thinks that it would be advantageous for me to post my life so the rest of you can read about me. Which I suppose I will post things, then delete them fear of your knowing too much about me or the possibility of you using this information against me. So there may be very little that is put in here. It may be a dry read for you.

I suppose I will give you a little information about myself. I am in my 30’s, I am married, have 4 children, presently enrolled in college and I have great job! Yeah, there I am in a nutshell. Oh, I suppose I should also mention I am confident almost everyone is out to get me, the government follows me around,I am tracked and abducted by aliens on a regular basis, and the world’s resonance is way out of whack. Which is the reason why so many things are “wrong” in the world today as we know it.

Today I stabbed my co-worker NDL in the stomach with a bic pen.