CAPSHAW, Ala. - The goat was arrested, the Mercedes-Benz was assaulted and the dog came along for the ride.

It happened Sunday when a woman driving the Mercedes saw a goat and dog playing on U.S. 72 in northern Alabama, Sheriff Mike Blakely said.

She stopped, afraid they would get hit, Blakely said. But the goat jumped on the car and wouldn’t come down. Fearing scratches and dents in her import’s paint job, she called the Limestone County Sheriff’s Department. A deputy got the goat down and put it in his patrol car, but then the dog jumped into his back seat too.

The deputy took the dog to a veterinarian and the goat to the home of another deputy.

“If anybody is missing a goat and dog, they need to let us know,” Blakely said.

OMG DOOD….YOu HaVE 2 HELP MEee…..

At 18:33 Sh—- Boh—r (sp?) called and said she will need the video camera, tripod, the whole case for a class that she is instructing at the Medina campus…. WTF am I to do???? I ask WTF?? I cannot be expected to perform competently under these conditions. You people ask way too much of me. I know I know, after working here for the last few years and seeing how things are done I should know what to expect and how to handle these issues as they arise. BUT JESUS CHRIST I CAN’T!!! The stress is overwhelming I believe I am about to crack. My ass hurts because I am forced to sit behind this desk. I have drool on the laptop because of the utter silence from lack of requests because I am so diligently working. Then then then the fucking fone rings and I am suddenly awakened with a crink in my neck and the sudden upward movement of my head which in turn causes whiplash which then entails me yelling profanities which then causes chaos disorder and riots in the library which brings the green giant law enforcement officer which then causes me more grief and anguish. DAMNIT man. What am I to do???!?! I think I may have the solution…..If I was put on first where I could be more closely monitored I think I may have a better interemployee support team that may be more apt to assist me when I feel things are too much of a deluge to handle on my own. Just a suggestion.
Thank you for your time and consideration in this matter and for hearing my grievances.
Mxxxxxx Cxxxxx Technical Support SpecialEdalist

We are just an advanced breed of monkeys on a minor planet of a very average star. But we can understand the Universe. That makes us something very special.

Stephen Hawking, Der Spiegel, 1989

Go Monkeys!!

There is something to be said about this quote. One of the most revered cosmologist and physicist in the whole history of humankind refers to us as monkeys. The same person who wrote a brief history of time and the universe in a nutshell knows that we are nothing more than simple primates in a jungle of oversized rocks. I believe there is something humbling about that statement. If you sit back and contemplate any given national geographic special you have witnessed and apply the thoughts one has while watching it, to humans and how we act….. It may just sit you back in your chair and make you reevaluate how things are.

I am not entirely sure how I feel about being called a monkey. I also suppose there are worse things to be called though. In the grand scheme of things I suppose that is what we are. Monkeys that can make star maps. Monkeys that can cook with microwaves. Monkeys that can organize books on a shelf. monkeys that can melt metal. We cannot travel to the stars we map. We cannot willingly converse with other organisms/monkeys that reside in other jungles on other simple rocks. We cannot telepathically let others know what we truly think or feel. And I will be damned if we have yet to sell flux capacitors at the fucking walmarts. So yea, we are simple monkeys that have been given the gift of opposing thumbs. Thank the maker for opposing thumbs. Now if we could just learn to use our brains we may actually evolve into something a little more impressive than monkeys.

Go Monkeys!!

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duh

Arecibo Observatory, the world’s largest radio telescope and the source for
the SETI@home data that your computer analyzes, faces massive budget cuts that
will END its ability to continue the search for life beyond Earth. The decision
to ensure full funding currently rests upon votes in Congress on Senate Bill S.
2862 and House Resolution H.R. 3737. These bills desperately need more support.

Please take a moment to help us SAVE ARECIBO.

Clicking the link below will direct you to a web page that allows you print
out letters prepared for your Senators and Congressional Representative urging
them to support Arecibo. Printing and mailing the letters is really easy, too!
You will also have the chance to add a few personal thoughts, if you wish, to
let your Senators and Representative know why this funding is important to you!
And if you’re really feeling passionate about saving Arecibo, please use these
letters as the basis for letters you write yourself, urging your congressmen
and women to vote to save Arecibo.

Because our representatives in Congress rarely give much attention to all the
email they receive, printing out and MAILING these letters via standard U.S.
Postal mail remains our best option for contacting them and our best hope for
saving Arecibo (The second best option is to call your representatives). Your
42 cent stamps on these letters could help us get the millions of dollars
needed to save Arecibo.

Our search cannot continue without the necessary support. Your work, as
SETI@home participants, represents an indispensable resource for conducting the
search. Now, we need your help to ensure that our other most valuable resource
- our eyes and ears to the cosmos - can continue to probe the universe as we
seek to answer the question: Is there anybody out there?

http://setiathome.berkeley.edu/arecibo_letter.php

Thank you for your help,

The SETI@home Team

Aliens are humans in a more advanced stage of evolution.
People who work at a computer will become smaller and thinner from lack of sunlight and
exercise. This will also cause the skin to pale and take on a grayish color. Since these
people have to use their brains more than anything their heads and eyes will become larger.
Also fingers will elongate for typing ease. These are the classic features of what people who have been abducted say the aliens look like.
This will happen to “texters”, people who text on their cell phones or blackberries or whatever small hand held devices they use, but the process may work backward. Fingers and eyes will change into what I have described above before the body, head and skin color will because of mobility of the devices.
In both cases, the mouth will shrink because of lack of use. Why have a big mouth if
one doesn’t need it? Noses will also shrink faster on computers users since they don’t  move around as much as mobile device users.
With all of this, I believe that telepathy will come into play, since communication verbally
will become obsolete.
One may wonder why “aliens” abduct humans for experiments. Here is what I think:
1. A disease is destroying them and the aliens need the human DNA to fix it.
2. Reproduction may be another reason. The use of sperm and eggs may be needed to mix with whatever they have to make more of themselves.
3. I would think that mental state would be a factor in the aliens’ development of
psychic abilities.
These could be the reasons why some people claim to have been taken multiple times, and others are only abducted once or not at all.
Aliens have been a part of the human culture for a long time. It is evident that something has been coming to Earth (or back to Earth) because of certain structures and what they represent, i.e. Stonehenge and the Pyramids.

I felt compelled to add a few more alien pics just because I know that people want to see them. Take a minute from your hectic day and admire the beauty of alien sex, which really isn’t that different than human sex but it is a little different than what you are use to.

If you really like these pics and would like to see more of them in the  future please feel free to donate 50 cents to my paypal account. paypal email is mcoffey73@yahoo.com