If it were not for pages like http://adrr.com/lingua/alien.htm how would the human race ever be able to speak to extra terrestrials? Please carry 18 specific coins, totalling(sp?) $3.27. Now see if I had not read that I may have made the mistake of carrying $6.47, then what would have happened? Would the aliens have probed me harder than what they normally do? Would I not be probed properly? Maybe that is why the probing is so painful…I carry with me the wrong amount of “american” currency while I slumber. AHA, no more Euros and Yen in my pajama pockets. I could go on and on about this ever so wonderful site and the vast amount of knowledge I have gained with respect of speaking to aliens the next time I encounter them. I will no longer stand in awe of the magnificent being that is in front of me. Instead I will use my 6′ of string I carry with me to make a cat’s cradle and use my flashlight to attempt to be the prober rather than the probee. Although I now know that ET’s may be producing subsonics and that may be the reason they do not listen to my cries of pain and my begging for release during their exploration of my sphincter. I am now going to add to my alien interaction kit a elephant translation device so I may be able to tell them to stay out of my ass because I do not appreciate it.

Please alien creatures…Please learn English so that I do not have to obtain such a vast amount of earthly materials in order for you to understand me. “I am a simple man, so I sing a simple song, never been so much in love, and never hurt so bad at the same time.” Even Graham Nash knows what it is like to be probed. And see if you had ever heard this song, you may have thought it is about a woman. Nope. Aliens. Go now, find this song and listen to it. You may never listen to it in the same light again.

Now if someone would produce a rock interaction web site, to tell me how I can properly communicate with them, I would carry on in a blissful state of being. If all else fails, I could always use my rock companions as weapons, I mean communications devices, to let the aliens know my true thoughts and feelings.