As this day progresses I have mixed feelings about my life as a whole. I did not achieve my goal for the day but I also think being intoxicated is not the most worthwhile of goals. I did get a nap in though and some food that wasn’t prepared by taco bell. Then there was the scalding hot tea bath a short while ago that not only peeled my screaming flesh from my body, but also removed some of the debris that has been leeching onto me. Those things brought with them some form of clarity. The clarity of being an asshole is not necessarily the most sought after clarity but it helps when one is trying to pass through this existence with the most amount of joy and the least amount of pain. A vast majority of this pain I have brought onto myself. I have indeed been a asshole of late. I have used people, tested people, ignored people and have drawn many incorrect conclusions. This is all wrong in my opinion. The reason it is wrong is not because I believe we should all be kind and gentle towards one another. It is wrong because I have done all of these things to people that: care, trust, love and admire me. I think I have a new goal.

An old friend of mine called me this evening. I envy this friend because he has absolutely no worries. Well maybe a few. They are things like he has to pump his foot in order to make water come out of his sink and he has no hot water where he lives. He resides on a sail boat and it is presently docked in the keys where he waits for the winds to shift so he can begin sailing to the Bahamas where he will spend the next 5-9 weeks sailing to uninhabited islands. This is his life, worry free as far as I am concerned. There was a point to this but I have forgotten it so we will meander somewhere else.

The rest of this I deleted. I believe I said I would do this.