The vacuity in the cactus

Whilst at work this morning I noticed there was a hole in the cactus. The ninja that is the sentient guardian of said cactus was laying face down in the dirt; immobile, possibly injured. It appears that our office has been attacked, the cactus violated and the interlopers have left my desk in shambles. I thought when I awoke this morn that today was going to be a wonderful day, I would let nothing hinder my ability to enjoy today. Between the wanker that thought it to be my fault that he deleted all of the files off of his “thummy” drive and now the fact that the poor cactus has been deflowered by some unknown cactofile, I am starting to renegotiate the whole enjoyable day thing. Fuck you cactus rapers, that poor succulent did nothing to you. You will pay.