I laid awake last night and contemplated trust and what it means. Not only to me, but as far as it goes in everyone’s life. I, for one, make it a point to make almost everyone not trust me. The only reason that I can think of for doing this is that I know that the people who trust me 100% are truly my friends. I guess one could look at it like a right of passage. OR maybe I am way off on my viewpoint on the matter. Which doesn’t matter. I have very few people that I consider to be my friend, I have even less that I put trust in. Trust for me is the willingness to lock and load my sks, hand it to another person, have it pointed at my head. Knowing the whole time that the trigger could be pulled and that would be it. Trust for me is full discloser, no matter what the consequences are. Those things are trust. I was always under the assumption that the trust I bestowed was reciprocated. After the last 24-48 hours however, I am beginning to understand that I not only do not need that trust to be reciprocated, I feel that I am better off not expecting it. If one does not expect something then one cannot be saddened when it doesn’t present itself.

I am sure it could be argued that there has to be some level of trust in order to be human. I couldn’t agree more with an argument like that. On the other side of the coin, I trust myself. That is the only creature I need to trust. I know that the last soul that wandered this planet that fully trusted me, I killed. That was my dog. There was unconditional love and trust there. Without him I know that I am the only one that fully trusts me. I would yell, scream, stomp at that dog and he would sit there. Knowing full well I just might take out my frustrations on him. It didn’t matter. He knew. He trusted.

Whether it is getting to the final knot and then freaking out because you know you cannot get out on your own accord or as simple as not answering the phone, those are issues of trust. Those are issues from people that I knew “trusted” me. I think I have been exceptionally naive in who I believe trusts me.

Let us add another brick in the wall.